{"id":5404,"date":"2018-05-31T20:54:17","date_gmt":"2018-06-01T01:54:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/?p=5404"},"modified":"2022-05-29T08:14:32","modified_gmt":"2022-05-29T13:14:32","slug":"1145-the-downside-of-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/2018\/05\/31\/1145-the-downside-of-success\/","title":{"rendered":"#1145 Fall Down Seven Times"},"content":{"rendered":"
Tweet<\/a><\/div>\n

I was paralyzed on a rock wall, not by the difficulty of the climb, but by the fear of falling. What if I made a mistake? Would the ropes save me from pain or death? I could not go up because I could not face falling (and failing.)<\/p>\n

The Downside of Success<\/strong>
\nRecently, I attended a STEM<\/a> conference with a small group of students that regularly achieved exceptional successes. Their small team was pitted against similar teams of students. After the morning\u2019s challenge I reacquainted with our team. One boy grumbled \u201cWe needed a chemist on our team\u2026\u201d Translation: \u201cWe didn\u2019t do as well as I wanted. I am disappointed.\u201d<\/p>\n

He always\u00a0<\/em>did well. It was expected. He didn\u2019t know how to cope with failing (or even not<\/em> excelling)\u2026<\/p>\n

\"education\"<\/a>

STEM conference – Science, Technology, Engineering and Math<\/p><\/div>\n

Learning to struggle<\/strong>
\nIn 1984 I wrestled my way through Grade 10 Electronics. I regularly got stuck & frustrated. I pushed my way to a lack lustre average-ish mark. My teacher recognized my struggles.<\/p>\n

One day he came up to me and pointed to the students that, today, are likely brilliant electrical engineers. He said \u201cThey\u2019re really smart. This is easy for them. One day, though, they’ll get stumped and they\u2019ll be in big trouble… You, Harry, are learning a valuable skill \u2013 to challenge yourself to get through tough work\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Life has thrown me many first world challenges \u2013 small business challenges, technological disruptions, loss, grief, etc. That tough electronics class was an early lesson on how to get through tough times.<\/p>\n

Learning to Face Challenges<\/strong>
\nSimilar circumstances affect students in the classroom. I\u2019ve seen students, young and old, who either expect to score at the top or choose not to participate. They\u2019ve never learned to handle mediocrity (being average) or to fail. \u00a0Excel or abstain is their way. Why? Possibly fear of failing? Or being seen to not exceed?<\/p>\n

A parent told me once their son\u2019s Forest School experiences expanded his horizons enormously. He was the oldest in his traditional school class and an only child. Things came easily to him. But in adversity, he crumbled quickly\u2026 Tears flowed, tempers flared and he was quick to quit.<\/p>\n

In our class that year he was in the middle of the class, age wise. Skill wise, he was also in the middle. At the beginning of the school year he was afraid to try, quick to quit and his wobbly chin\u00a0<\/em>announced the frequent arrival of tears. He wasn\u2019t used to not being the best, easily.<\/p>\n

Throughout his school year his defeats were supported, his emotions were coached and\u00a0he learned how to pick himself up and try again. His smile (and confidence) grew two sizes by the end of the year.<\/p>\n

\"success\"<\/a>

Climbing and success<\/p><\/div>\n

Paralysis<\/strong>
\nBack to my paralysis on the rock face – a guide gently came to investigate my disabled state. He realized my predicament. He told me to \u201cAllow yourself to fall (fail)\u2026 See what happens.\u201d<\/p>\n

Trepidatiously, I climbed until gravity peeled me off the granite.
\nPetrified, I fell.
\nIn that failure, I learned I could climb higher next time.<\/p>\n

“Nana korobi ya oki<\/a>” – Japanese proverb.
\nFall down seven times. Get up eight.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tweet I was paralyzed on a rock wall, not by the difficulty of the climb, but by the fear of falling. What if I made a mistake? Would the ropes save me from pain or death? I could not go Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[282,301,283],"tags":[27,90,303,293,76,302,288],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5404"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5404"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5404\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5414,"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5404\/revisions\/5414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.harrynowell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}